What do you say to your dying mother?
You are standing next to mom’s sick bed. You are sure she is about to die. Every minute counts. What should you tell her? Your mind is running wild.
Standing next to your mother in a hospital bed where you are sure she will not come out alive is scary. The emotions of that moment are strong.
The power of those emotions may cause you to lack words to say to your dying mother. You may only have tears to shed.
But then you need to say goodbye to your mother. It will feel good when you see your mother off to the realm of the dead.
In this article, I want to guide you on what to say just before your mother dies. These are words you will be glad you said to your mom before she died.
What to Say to your Dying Mother
1. What do you want me to do?
Just before your mother dies, it is important for you to ask her what she wants you to do after she is gone. This will help you know the legacy that your mom wants to be remembered for.
Your mom should also give you an outline of how you will handle the assignment she is leaving you with. It is fulfilling to do an activity knowing your late mom is in support.
Read Also: 3 Things you Miss when your Mom Dies
Some instructions may be general. If your mother asks you to take care of your siblings, that is ambiguous.
Make sure you inquire a little more on how you are to take care of your siblings. Despite taking care of siblings being a wide matter, there are specifics that your mother can outline for you.
The most common assignments that dying mothers give to their children when dying is remaining united. It is a nightmare for a parent to die knowing that her children are not united.
If your mother gives you the assignment of uniting your siblings, ask her the approach you need to take.
You may need to get a third party to help you solve wrangles between your siblings.
Whatever instructions your mother gives to you, make sure you know exactly how to handle it. Once your mother is dead, you won’t have an opportunity to get clarification.
Finances in the family
As part of you inquiring what your dying mother wants you to do, make sure you ask about her finances. In most cases, you may find it hard to know how to use the money that your mother was receiving after she dies.
You may not be sure what to do with the money and spending it as you see fit may cause you guilt.
Therefore, ask your mother to clarify what she wants the money she was receiving to be used for after she is gone.
Your Dying Mother’s Property
If your mother had written a will, you can refer to her will to know what to do with her property after she is dead. But if she had not written a will, you can ask her directly how she wants her property to be used after her death.
If she had written a will, she can still clarify to you what she meant in the will.
Read Also: Dad Dating too soon after Mom’s Death; What to do
In the end, what you want from your dying mother are clear instructions on what needs to be done after her death.
Carrying out her instructions after she is gone will be fulfilling to you.
2. What do you want me to know?
People do hide secrets for long; your mom is no exception. On her death bed, you can inquire if she has any information she wants you to know before she dies.
There is normally a sense of urgency that grips people when they are on their death bed. They open up and give information they would never say if they were not on their death beds.
Almost everyone has a message they would like to pass to their close family. Your mom definitely has a confession to make, a report to give about someone or a warning.
Either of the above is important for you to know from your mother.
Your mother too will feel relieved after revealing to you whatever information she wants to reveal. She may not tell you such information unless you prompt her.
3. Say to your Dying Mother She has been a good Mother to you
Once you have all the information that you need from your dying mother, it is time to give her a good report. Mention to her how much you appreciate the care she has shown you.
Pick out a few incidences that really stood out for you.
The positive report you give will definitely make your mom proud of what she has done. Remember having the opportunity to talk to your mother just before she dies is rare.
Most people lose their mothers without ever having a chance to thank them for being good mothers.
Make any confessions that you may have hidden from your mother for a long time. Tell her information you would like her to know before she dies.
Even though your mother is going to die, telling her information you have kept secret for a long time will relieve you.
In your praise report to your dying mother, make sure you speak the truth. Avoid exaggeration. Speak about the good that your mother is aware she did to you.
Thank her for the sacrifices she made.
Read Also: Therapy after Losing a Mother; Does it Help?
Lastly, in your thanksgiving report, remember to forgive your mother for the wrong she did to you. Be genuine and confess where your mother hurt you and let her know that she is forgiven.
Let your mother depart in peace knowing that her child has nothing against her.
God be with you!
The very last words you say to your dying mother should release her. Just as your mom used to release you to go to school with a goodbye, you must release her to rest.
It is painful to release your mother knowing that it is the very last time but it has to be done. Your mother will depart knowing she has done good work and you will have contentment that your mother has left in peace.
Committing your mother in the hands of God will also make accepting her death easier.
What to Say to your Dying Mother: Conclusion
Saying your last words to your dying mother is tough. But with the four guidelines above, you should be able to release your mother to rest.
The opportunity you have to talk to your mother one last time is a precious one. Utilize it well. May God give you strength and the courage to face the inevitable departure of your mother.