Losing a Mother at a Young Age: What it Feels Like

Losing a mother is a tragedy. Losing a mother at a young age is an even bigger tragedy. Children need their mothers more than adults.

Losing your mother when you are a child means you lose a key figure in your life. Developing into an adult without the guidance of your mother is unlike the law of nature.

But if that is the unfortunate situation you found yourself in, then you will understand the points I will discuss in this article.

Whether you lost your mother immediately you were born or while you were an infant, losing a mother before you can make independent decisions is tough.

Losing a Mother at a Young Age Effects

1. Your Mother not Seeing your Achievements

If you lost your mother at a young age, you will always struggle with the fact that you can’t share with your mom the good moments of your life.

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The success we get in life is a cake whose cream is the smile we get from our parents. Having no mother to celebrate you when you achieve success is a painful reality you get used to.

Read Also: Three Consoling gifts to Buy Someone who Lost a Mother

The pain begins during your elementary successes. One day you manage to score a 72% in your mathematics paper. You run home to celebrate with your family but in the middle of the celebration, you remember that your mother has no idea that you did well in your maths paper.

In all achievements whether small or big, you will feel the pain of your mother not being able to have a taste of your success.

The worst pain is when your achievements are huge. Once you have moved away from the childhood successes and you are into your adult life, you begin attaining huge milestones.

The bigger the milestones you achieve, the deeper the pain of your mother not being a witness you feel.

When you finally get a partner and you want to settle down, you remember your mom will never know that you found the love of your life.

You really wish the love of your life would meet your mother and have a taste of the goodness that your mother had but the sad reality is that it is impossible.

All you can do is talk to the love of your life about how awesome your mother was.

When you get your firstborn, you wish that your mom was around to celebrate a grandchild but again it is not possible.

You also wish that your child would experience the warmth of a loving grandmother but that can’t happen.

The more milestones you achieve, the worse the pain of your mother not seeing them becomes.

2. Having no Fear of Losing Loved Ones

Losing a mother at a young age is not all sad and gloom. There are upsides that we may not talk about but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

One of the upsides of losing a mother when you are young is that you easily outgrow the pain. For some reason, it is easier for a person to recover from grief if the grief happened early in their life than later.

Losing a mother will always be painful. It is worse if it happens to you when you are a child. However, years after you lost your mother as a child, you will have few memories of her.

With fewer memories, it is easier to heal.

More memories with your mom means a harder time to forget them which causes you more pain.

Those who lost their mom even before they knew what was going on will only live to hear about her and maybe see her photos.

Read Also: What to Say During your Mother’s Funeral to Honor Her

They experience pain in moderation compared to those who lose their mother when they have full knowledge that it is their mother who is dead.

Growing up knowing that your mother passed on accustoms you to tragedy. You live without fearing the day you will lose a loved one.

Having lost your mother when you are young, you know that death is a thing. Your mind knows that life goes on after the death of a loved one.

With this knowledge, you have less fear of losing a loved one compared to the average person who has not experienced death of a close family member.

The mental endurance you get for losing your mother when you are young is greatly beneficial in life.

3. Taking Early Responsibility after Losing Mother at a Young Age

Losing a mother at a young age means that taking responsibility will also come at an early age. While most children will enjoy the privilege of their parents working in the background to lay a good foundation for them, for children who lose their mother early, they have to take up some responsibilities much earlier.

Losing your mother when you are a child will force you to take responsibility of your emotions early. You may have a mother figure but of course no other woman can show you the love that your own mother would have shown you.

Other responsibilities such as finding balance in relating with women will also come earlier than for children who had their mothers while growing up.

In other words, all the lessons that children are designed to learn from their mothers, you have to learn on your own.

I have seen people who struggle with relationships just because they didn’t have a chance to relate with their mothers when they were young.

It is a sad experience to be forced to take responsibility early but then it pays off well in future if you do take responsibility.

Taking responsibility as a young person will make you be a step ahead of your peers. When other children are still playing with toys, you will be learning to wash dishes.

When other kids begin learning to wash dishes, you will be learning to take care of house expenses.

The one step ahead you have over your peers continues to your adult life. It is this advantage that may make you start seeing that losing your mother at a young age was not entirely a disaster.

You will also find that you have an easy time comforting people who lose their loved ones. Since you are used to living life without your mother, you have a firm grasp that life is still fine without a loved one.

Read Also: My Boyfriend Lost His Mother. How can I help him?

For people who are only starting out the life, it may seem impossible but then you stand in as a witness to tell them that it is possible to live a fulfilling life after losing a loved one.

Losing a Mother at a Young Age: Conclusion

Losing a mother at a young age is not anything to be celebrated but then it carries some advantages that if well utilized, can propel your life faster than the average person.

No one has a choice on when they lose their mother but everyone has a responsibility to make their lives worth living even after the loss of a mother.

If you lost your mother and you are still struggling in life because of it, it is time for you to take responsibility of your life.

It is true that you may have been disadvantaged in some areas but at the same time you had advantages in some areas.

Be positive and build an amazing life for yourself!

2 thoughts on “Losing a Mother at a Young Age: What it Feels Like”

  1. Lost my mother at age 6
    No one explained anything. Why she died or death…
    I struggled with relationships, friendships and family.
    I was extremely emotional. Cried so easily. People caught on and would bully me until I cried uncontrollably as if I were a thing that deserved to be brutualized. They had no empathy as to how I became to be overly sensitive. I can’t imagine myself abusing another person knowing full well they were still grieving and needed kindness. I couldn’t look myself in the mirror knowing I hurt a vulnrtable human being instead of reaching out. I think compassion and just simple humanity is missing in so many people.
    Having no mother to run to in times of need was just sheer torture. I found out later in life, she was a very cold, distant and abusive mother. I had no mother in any sense. Learning that even if she was living and was in good health, she wouldn’t be the mother I needed or wanted!
    I took notes after that.
    I took care of myself, I taught myself to be strong and open minded, I wanted to be loving with my future kids. Teaching kindness and joy. Helping others when you can and not hurting anyone in everyway possible.
    Many years later, I was blessed with a chance to have my own children. I am not a perfect mother but my kids and I are very close. I tell them I love them everyday even now, that they are grown. They know they are loved and they are my everything.

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