A good number of Christian women fear getting married. If you are one of them, I am here to help you get over your fear of getting married.
Marriage is a blessing from the Lord and you need to enjoy it. I know the fear in your head is telling you otherwise but don’t fall for the lies of the devil.
Fear of marriage is a scheme of the enemy to deny you the blessing of marriage that God gave you to enjoy.
I’ll identify some of the common causes of the fear of marriage and how to get over them.
Let’s get started…
Causes of the Fear of Marriage
One of the most common reason I hear women give for not wanting to get married is their fear of being cheated on.
Let’s speak the truth…being cheated on hurts. Not only does it devalue you but it also takes away life from your soul.
Love is such a beautiful thing but when a man betrays you by sleeping with another woman, it’s hard for the soul to recover from the pain.
The risk of a husband cheating on you is undeniable but then we have to think further than that. We live in a world that constantly exposes us to uncertainty.
No one can tell for sure what will happen to her tomorrow. Jesus asked us not to worry about what we shall eat or what we shall drink.
Instead, He asked us to look to Him because He is the life. If you have life, will you worry about food? Don’t we eat hoping to live long?
Likewise, when it comes to getting married, you must trust God that though cheating is all around us, God will exempt you.
This is not just a wish; God has given us clear guidelines that guarantee faithfulness in marriage. It is a test of faith for you.
Can you trust God to keep the man who will marry you from cheating?
God has commanded us not to fear but to have faith. If you fear being cheated on, you are undermining your faith and I hope you know that it is impossible to please God without faith.
Therefore, work on trusting God to sustain the man who will marry you.
Monotony in Marriage
How will I survive sleeping with the same man for the rest of my life? Won’t I get bored? I hear some Christian girls ask such questions.
We are used to getting bored with things after a while. The new dress that was so attractive when you bought it becomes unattractive after you wear it for a while.
This truth makes some ladies fear getting married because they are afraid of getting bored with monotony in marriage.
But this fear is not only related to marriage, I have heard many Christians wonder how eternity will be. From our thinking, it may get boring.
But I have an answer for you; in God, there is a concept called growth. It is growth that keeps things interesting.
All things that are made by man are dead; they never grow. That is why when you buy a nice dress, after a while, you will be bored with it.
But everything that God makes, grows.
Babies born to mothers are exciting every step of the way even after they become adults. The pets we own are a creation of God and we don’t get bored with them because they keep growing.
Marriage too, if it is initiated by God, it will keep growing and there won’t be any monotony.
Marriages of the people of the world are established on faulty foundations and that is why they become monotonous after a while.
Your fear of monotony in marriage is a result of not knowing that God is the one who makes things grow and that growth is what keeps things interesting.
Falling out of Love
If falling in love exists, falling out of love definitely exists. Many marriages have ended because partners no longer felt attracted to one another.
If you have heard stories of couples that fell out of love, you will definitely question the point of getting married. Why start something that won’t last? Why waste each other’s time and separate with painful memories?
If that is what gives you the fear of getting married, I have a simple solution for you; God is love.
I’m sure you have heard it mentioned on many occasions that God is love. That is true. The Bible confirms it too.
At the core of any fruitful marriage is love. That is not a secret. Now, translate the meaning of love that I have told you to what sustains a marriage.
God is the sustainer of marriages. God is the author of love and you can only learn love from Him. Establishing a marriage on any other foundation apart from love is a guarantee that you will fall out of love.
Jesus established His marriage to the church on the foundation of love. Two thousand plus years later, the marriage is still going strong.
What causes couples to fall out of love is their misunderstanding of love.
If you learn exactly what love is, you cannot fall out of it. Only death will separate you.
Marrying the Wrong Person
Do soulmates exist? I have answered this question in this article. Since marriage is a lifelong covenant, making it with the wrong person is a sure way of screwing up your life.
The fear of getting married to the wrong person can keep you single for a long time. Every man you date, you constantly hear a voice asking you ‘what if there is a better man than this?’
You may be tempted to hold getting married hoping to find a better person. Many women are stuck here; ever dating but never getting married.
If this is your reason for fearing marriage, here is the solution…
Pray to God to reveal your husband to you. I have made your work easier by writing down all the steps you need to take in order to get God to reveal your husband to you.
I have attended weddings of girls who knew the men they were getting married to were their best fit because God confirmed it to them.
I have mentioned before that God is the author of marriages. He is able to let you know the best person to get married to if you ask Him.
Finding a partner with your own thinking will always leave you worried if that person is the right husband for you. It is only a confirmation from God that will put closure to your worries.
People are not perfect. The man you get married to won’t be perfect either. The only way to believe that imperfect man is the best for you is if God tells you so.
Therefore, cast away your fear of getting married to the wrong person by asking God to show you the right person to get married to.
Marriage is Sweet
Don’t let your fear of getting married fool you; marriage is sweet. The devil is a deceiver and his weapon against you is fear.
Don’t fall for the lies of the deceiver.
Start working to overcome the fear of getting married. Once you get married, you will confirm what I am telling you.
Instead of looking at couples that didn’t make it, focus on couples that have remained faithful to one another.
Build your faith in marriage by looking at marriages that were established in the perfect law of the Lord. Getting married will do you good; trust me.
All the best!