The tough decision of whether to view the body of your deceased mother or not is one of the hardest decisions you will ever face in your life.
This decision is so hard to make because whatever route you take, the consequences are going to be for the rest of your life.
Viewing the body of your deceased mother could print a permanent image in your mind that you may one day want to forget but have no way of forgetting.
The decision not to view the body of your deceased mother could also have lifetime regrets where you regret not having viewed your mom one last time before she was taken away from you forever.
But which among these two decisions is the right one?
I’m pretty sure right now you are overwhelmed with emotions after the loss of your mother. Making the decision to view her body or not seems impossible.
That is why I am writing this article.
My Story of Viewing Mom’s Body
Before I go any further, let me tell you why I decided to write this article…
Back in 2014, I was faced with the same dilemma that you are facing right now. I remember standing a few meters away from my mother’s casket not knowing whether to move closer and view her body or stay away.
Part of me wanted to view her body but my feet could not move any closer to the coffin. Eventually, I never viewed my mom’s body on the day of her burial.
I had viewed her body briefly two days before when we went to pick her body from the morgue. I didn’t take time to look at her because I knew I would have another chance.
When the coffin was closed and my mom was lowered into a six foot grave, I had a weird regret not having looked at my mom’s body one last time.
But it was too late…
I struggled for considerable period with the fact that I didn’t view my mom’s body on her burial day. I felt there was a void that wasn’t filled.
I learned hard lessons from the experience and that is why I am writing this article today to help you avoid the same mistake.
I’ll structure this article in terms of the lessons I learned and what you can take from it.
Viewing Mom’s Body is good for you
I equate viewing your deceased mom’s body to a pregnant woman in a maternity ward. No matter how scary the fact of what is about to happen is, it must be done.
Viewing your deceased mom’s body is not easy. Her image lying in the coffin will stick with you for a very long time. This may make it hard for you to overcome the grieving season but on the flip side, viewing your mom’s body will help you release inner pain.
When you are grieving, you hold up most of the emotions. Part of the reason is because you don’t want to mourn wildly. But holding up emotions of grief is not healthy for you.
For you to heal faster from your mom’s death, you need to release the emotions of grief. The best way to release the emotions of grief is by viewing your dead mom’s body.
Have an Aide when viewing your Mom’s Body
When you view your mom’s body, you can’t tell what will happen. Some people only shed a tear while others collapse.
The degree of the weight of what happens to you is largely determined by how close you were to your deceased mom and how much grief you were holding in.
When you have someone by your side, you can be sure that if anything happens, someone can help you out.
The sight of your mother lying in a coffin can paralyze your entire body. Your knees can lose strength and you may even forget the breathing rhythm. That is how heavy the sight of your mother in a coffin can be.
Even if you are scared that you may collapse, don’t shy away from viewing your deceased mother’s body.
Don’t Fear other Mourners
I feared other mourners who were viewing my mom’s body. I was a teenager and I thought that viewing of the body is reserved for adults.
As a result, I postponed viewing my mom’s body until when it was too late. Don’t make the same mistake.
Even if other mourners are around your mom’s coffin, request some alone time to view the body. Chances are that you will be given priority because you are her child.
In fact, other mourners will be very supportive in letting you spend as much time as you want with your deceased mother.
Standing next to your Mom’s Coffin Viewing her Body
When you finally gather the courage to view your mom’s body, make sure you take your time. If you have very strong emotions, you will be tempted to back off immediately your eyes land on your mother’s body.
But unless you have spent sufficient time to look at your mom’s body, you will feel as if you never viewed it at all.
When we were at the mortuary, we didn’t have much time to view the body; I glimpsed at my mom’s body and walked away.
I could barely remember any detail a few seconds after viewing my mom’s body. I rushed it and it was not good.
Make sure you pay attention to the details when viewing your mom’s body. Do it the same way your mom used to pay attention to details when watching you.
Having Closure on viewing your Mom’s Body
No matter how much time you spend viewing your mom’s body, once you walk away, you will feel it was not enough.
In reality, it is never enough to view your mom’s body. Who wouldn’t want to give mom a million goodbyes when you know it is the very last time?
That is why it is important for you to put closure to the matter. Once you have spent some good time viewing your mom’s body, walk away telling yourself that was the very last time I saw my mom’s body.
Fix it in your mind as early as you can that you will never see that sweet face of mom again. There is no other way of getting over viewing your mom’s body other than consciously deciding to put it to an end.
You may struggle to stick to your resolve at first but whether you like it or not, you must stick to it.
It is terrible if mom is buried when you still haven’t resolved in your mind that you will never see her again.
By all means, try and view your mom’s body. It is the last honor you can give to your mother. Don’t shy off no matter how scary it seems.
Once you have viewed her body and put closure to the matter, you will have an easier time healing than if you don’t view her body.
Sorry for the loss of your mom and may God comfort you!