If you are reading this article and you are a porn addict, I’m sorry for the pain you have endured this far. I don’t know how horrible your life feels but take heart because I have been where you are and I am here to encourage you.
If you have read my eBook, you already know my porn addiction story. I suffered as a porn addict for over 10 years. There were times I gave up fighting completely and accepted to live with the addiction.
Porn addiction takes a toll on you. Before you know it, you change into a zombie; you lose all control. In the years that I was addicted, one thing constantly caused me pain.
I believe it is the worst part of being addicted to porn. That is what I want to share with you today.
Porn Addiction Shame
Every human being has a weakness. Some are stutterers, others have hearing impairment, others constantly fall into depression and many other cases.
But then there are those who have a weakness in controlling their sexual urges. Sex in itself is a private act.
Having an addiction to porn automatically sets you up for a hard time finding help. The more the addiction gets a strong grip on you, the harder you find it to open up.
I narrated in my eBook how I kept the addiction to myself for about five years before ever opening up to someone. Sadly, when I opened up to the person, she kept quiet.
I interpreted that to be ‘never raise that issue again’ and I went mute for another several years. It is not that porn addicts don’t want to be helped.
Most of the time, they just don’t know where to go for help. The people they turn to often mishandle them which causes them to close themselves up.
It is also sad to note that porn addicts are often blamed for their behavior. Well, there is a part a porn addict is supposed to play in overcoming the addiction but then blaming them as if they asked for it is sad.
When I first learned about porn, I was still young and I couldn’t tell whether it was the right thing or not. In fact, I didn’t even know it existed.
I don’t know if parents are to blame for not teaching their children to avoid porn. On one hand I feel my parents would have at least warned me about porn while on the other hand I feel it was my responsibility to ask my parents about porn.
When I learned about porn, I was too afraid to ask anything about it. I didn’t know what addictions were at that time.
The shame that comes with porn stopped me from opening my mouth. Later on when I was deep into the addiction, I learned that several other people around me were also watching porn but everyone kept it to himself.
It is sad just how stigmatized porn addiction is. Porn addiction should not carry the shame of rape. It is easy for people struggling with porn to open up when there is love.
Losing Control as a Porn Addict
With the world pointing an accusing finger at you and porn eating you from within, it doesn’t take long before you lose control.
Normally, when one person is in trouble, others come to his aid. Those coming to help are more beneficial if they rescue their fellow without accusing him.
If a man in drowning in a river, the first thing that rescuers do is get the person out of the river. Any other details they want to know about the incident will come after the person has been saved from drowning.
A porn addict deserves the same kind of treatment. Once an addict has been helped out of the addiction, he can explain the rest of the things.
Asking a porn addict ‘why can’t you just stop’ is heart breaking. Most porn addicts genuinely want to break free. They are doing all that is in their power to break free. Accusing them of being addicts makes their work a lot harder.
For you who has suffered any type of humiliation because of the addiction you have, take heart. May these words comfort you.
I understand your pain. I have walked in your shoes and I am here to assure you that there is a solution. If you have not been hooked for more than 10 years, you should be more hopeful. I was there for 10 years but I found freedom.
Don’t allow yourself to be a leaf in the wind. Once in a while the urges may overpower you but constantly remind yourself that step by step you will overcome.
Even after you have watched porn and masturbated, don’t sleep on your bed thinking of how miserable you are. Instead, rise up and go prepare a good meal for yourself.
Take your phone and talk to a friend. Avoid discussing much about porn. Gain control of your life.
When I was still addicted to porn, I would go jogging after watching porn. I would try my best to get out of my room as soon as I can after watching porn.
I never wanted my mind to develop a self-pity mentality. Of course it feels bad to fall back into masturbation especially when you have abstained from it for a while but don’t despair.
Find direction from my article on how to stop porn addiction after failing miserably. Gain control of your life one step at a time.
Defeating porn addiction is a process that builds up over time. You have to keep growing your muscle to resist the urges to watch porn.
Eventually, when you have mastered how to control your own life, the urges will cease. And that is the point where you can rest assured you will never watch porn again.
I can’t say just how grateful I am to have reached the level where I find it pointless to watch porn. My heart naturally resists all forms of adult content.
Strive and get to this point. All the best in your journey!