There is no such thing as being fully prepared for the death of your mother. You can prepare yourself to experience the pain of losing your mother but when it comes you will feel it came too early.
Even if you are given years to prepare for mom’s death, you will never be ready. None of us wants to lose a mother.
But unfortunately, time comes when the inevitable happens. I can’t really say whether it is a good thing for you to know your mother is going to die beforehand.
Some people may prefer if their mother died suddenly than if she slowly drifted into the realm of the dead.
Others will appreciate the slow descent into death. Since we have no control over how our mother dies, the best we can do is handle whatever case has come our way to our level best.
For you whose mother is dying slowly, here are a few guidelines to help you prepare for her death.
Just remember that you can only prepare yourself to handle the pain of losing a mother but you can’t avoid feeling the pain.
Do the following to prepare for your mom’s death:
1. Decide on your Last Meeting with Mom
Like it or not, there must be a last meeting with mom. You will either choose it yourself or nature will choose it for you.
It is better when you choose it yourself. That way, you won’t say you were not prepared even though no one really gets prepared for the death of their mother.
If your mother is at the point of death, pay her a visit and tell yourself at the back of your mind that is the last meeting ever with your mother.
In your last meeting with your mother, make sure you do the following:
Say your Last Words
It is hard I know but you must give a last message to your mother. Giving your mother a last message will help you easily put closure to the matter once your mother dies.
Moving on from your mother’s death is a tough journey. If you have a chance to say goodbye to your mother, use it to make the work of recovery after her death easier.
You can get an idea of what to say as your last words to your dying mother in this article.
Give her your Last Gift
What is the best last gift you can give to your mother on her death bed?
It may sound ironical to give your mother a gift when you know that she will never live to enjoy it. But still, giving a gift to your mother will serve a good purpose after her death.
The purpose of a gift is fulfilled when the person you are giving that gift to receives it. What the person does with the gift afterwards is not a big deal to you as the giver.
Therefore, don’t shy off from buying your mother a gift.
I don’t want you to scratch your head thinking about the best gift you can give to your mother. Get a simple T-shirt that has words that pay tribute to your mother.
Buy her the T-shirt even if you know she won’t wear it. After her death, you can wear that T-shirt yourself to honor your mom.
Give her your Last Hug
If you can hug your mother, make sure you give her one final hug. You can capture the moment on your phone to keep the memory.
If your mother is not in a condition where she can hug you, you can shake her hand. Just make sure that you have a physical touch of some kind with your mother.
It is one thing to say goodbye to your dying mother but it is a totally different thing to have a physical touch from her.
When she dies, her body will become cold. Why not feel her warm body before it turns cold?
2. Get a Grief Therapist
Grieving your mother is a tough experience. No one ever gets used to grieving. No matter how well you prepare for grieving, the experience will always be tough.
It is therefore wise to get someone who is experienced at helping those who are grieving to brief you on the best practices.
You may assume that you will feel pain for a while after your mother dies and everything will automatically be fine afterwards but life is not a straight line.
People do fall into depression after the death of their mother. Others get overwhelmed to the point that they cannot continue with their lives.
You may not be in the right state of mind after your mother dies. That is why it is wise to hire a grief therapist before your mother dies.
Ask your therapist for direction in the following areas:
How to Mourn your Mother
To the average person, mourning is a straight forward case; cry until you feel better. But then mourning has details that are only known to the grief experts.
This is why it is advisable to ask the grief expert what to do when mourning and what not to do. Some things that people do while mourning make it hard for them to heal from the loss.
Let your therapist tell you what to do and what not to do so that you heal faster after the departure of your mother.
How long the grief period will last
What is the average time it takes to heal after the loss of a mother? If you don’t know the answer to this question, you definitely need a grief expert.
It is the grief expert who is to monitor you as you go through the tough period of mourning. If the expert sees that you are taking longer than normal to recover, he will advise you on what you need to do.
What to do when you Feel Lost
Losing a mother is a tough experience. As much as you may know your mother is about to die, it doesn’t mean you can’t feel overwhelmed.
When you get overwhelmed with the emotions, you will need someone to hold you. Who else is better suited to help you than someone who is specialized at helping those who mourn?
It is through preparation that you will be able to heal after the loss of your mother. Therefore, make sure you set things in order for the coming period of mourning.
It is a tough experience but then it is part of life. We have no choice but to face it. Stay strong and push through this period.
All the best!