The Bible has not left us in the dark pertaining marriage matters. Right from the Old Testament, the Bible addresses different aspects of marriage.
For Christian singles, the Bible outlines step by step how to prepare for marriage. I know it is not plainly written but I will show you.
I have compressed the entire process of preparing for marriage as a Christian single into three key steps. All the steps are drawn from the Bible.
1. Leave your Father and Mother
Right from the first book of the Bible, God gives direction on how Christian singles should go about finding a mate.
The first step for Christian singles to find a spouse is to leave their father and mother. It is obvious that you cannot be joined to your partner in marriage if you are still connected to your father and mother.
Anyone connected to her father and mother is considered a child in the eyes of God. Marriage is not meant for children.
Leaving your father and mother is not necessarily literal. You don’t have to be out of your parents’ house but if you can leave physically, the better.
Children are emotionally connected to their parents. If the parent is angry, the child can’t be happy. If a parent disagrees with them, they quit what they were doing.
Children want to please their parents. Take an example of Abraham in the Bible. He lived with the gods of Terah until the day he decided to obey the voice of God and leave his father’s house.
Obviously, Terah was displeased that his son was leaving his gods. No parent rejoices when a child forsakes ways known to them for the unknown ways.
Children can only manage to emotionally disconnect from their parents when they have matured enough.
Marriage demands that children make their own decisions even if their parents disapprove some of those decisions.
Therefore, as a Christian single, start learning to be emotionally independent as you prepare for marriage.
Children live with their parents. Some live in the same house, some in the same compound and others in the same town.
It is not a big deal how far you live from your parents but it is important to make sure the physical distance between you and your parents is a clear statement that you are no longer a baby.
Notice that when God was instructing Abraham to leave his father’s house He didn’t specify where Abraham was to go.
God was more concerned about the distance from home Abraham would go rather than the direction. The same is true for Christian singles hoping to get married.
If the distance between you and your parents is small enough for you to run back home in case of trouble, you are still a baby to your parents.
Independent adults run to their friends when they face trouble not their parents. If you live closer to your friends than your parents, you are far enough from home.
Relying on your parents for food and shelter is proof that you are yet to ‘leave your father and mother’. You may be living far from your parents but you still get financial support from them; you are still a baby.
If your parents insist on helping you materially, let them do it because they want to but not because you need the help. You must be materially independent.
As a Christian single, make sure you are able to pay your own bills without having to dial Dad’s phone. God cares about your material independence when He is considering you for marriage.
2. Build your Relationship with God
Marriage is of God. If you don’t have a relationship with Him, the best you can achieve is heartbreaks. Marriage is first a relationship before it is anything else.
God has to train you as a Christian single how to relate before letting you relate with a partner. God is the perfect partner a Christian single can have.
He is loving, patient, kind, gentle and faithful more than anyone else. If you can’t maintain a relationship with Him, you can’t maintain any other relationship.
Therefore, as part of your preparation for marriage as a Christian single, work on perfecting your relationship with God.
If you don’t enjoy worshipping God, you can’t enjoy intimate time with your partner. If you don’t value serving God, you won’t value serving your partner.
With the same value you hold your relationship with God, you will hold your relationship with your partner.
3. Ask for a Suitable Partner
Trust me, you can’t find the perfect partner on your own. Read this article for in-depth explanation on that.
In an eBook I wrote, I explained how each person has a soulmate. In the same eBook, I go into detail on how you can align yourself with God’s will to get into a relationship with the perfect partner for you.
You may prepare yourself for marriage in all ways possible but if you don’t know how to get the right partner, all the preparation will be in vain.
Preparation to get a life partner from God is a whole process on its own. It is more challenging than preparing yourself for marriage since it involves the will of another person.
Among the many things you will learn, you will need to know how to pray for your partner to align himself to God’s will.
God will require that you no longer pray for yourself alone but also for your partner. After all, how can you become one with someone you do not pray for.
As part of the Biblical preparation for marriage, you have to start living as though you are married even before you get married.
Is that not what the Bible calls faith? You have to live marriage to get married.
Jesus who is the bridegroom of the church prayed for the church even before going to the cross. He taught the church what to do to be aligned with God’s perfect plan.
Preparing for marriage Biblically is a journey. You will learn different aspects of marriage from diverse angles for you to mature and be ready for marriage.
Make sure you stick to the training until you get married. The sooner you start the training the better.
All the best!