Sorry for losing your mother today. The first few hours after getting the news of the death of your mother are arguably the worst hours you’ll ever experience in your life.
Your mind will be tossed from one intense feeling to another. Your world will feel empty. At times it will feel like a dream but somehow you will know it is reality.
I have been through the same experience and I am here to help you know how to navigate the first few hours after the loss of your mother.
I will break down this article into three sections…
1. Prepare to Mourn your Mother
Right now it may feel like the world has come to an end but in real sense, it is only the beginning. The strange feelings you are having now are only ushering in the mourning period.
These feelings will continue for a while and it is important that you prepare for the mourning period. Mourning takes a lot of your energy which means you may not be able to do most of the activities that you normally do.
Here are few things to do in preparing to mourn the death of your mother…
Take a Break from your Job
If you have a job, make sure you notify your manager as early as you can. You need to take a break as soon as now.
Your state of mind cannot allow you to continue working.
If possible, you can ask one of your colleagues to take you to the manager so that you ask for a leave. If your mental state is too bad, you can request your colleague to ask for a leave for you.
Either way, make sure that you take a break from your job.
If you are in school, take a break also.
Your state of mind after the death of your mother won’t allow you to concentrate in class. It will be pointless for you to sit in class.
The earlier you take a break from school, the more time you will have to mourn and that will allow you to heal faster and get back to school.
Inform your Friends about the Death of your Mother
When you go into the mourning period, you will need friends to help you out in the many activities you won’t be able to do.
This is why in your preparation for the mourning period you need to inform your friends. It is your friends that will help you in running most of the activities that you can’t run on your own.
If possible, you can request your closest friends to come stay with you for a while.
At this time, you are like a little baby that needs to be taken care of.
2. Allow all Emotions to Come Out
After learning of the death of your mother, strange emotions come. Sometimes you will feel like lying down on the ground.
Don’t hold back the different ways of expressing grief you feel like doing. If you get an urge to lie on the ground, do it.
If you feel like crying out loudly, do it. Some go to an extent of pouring dust on themselves to feel better.
Read Also: My Mom’s Death Changed Me Forever
There is no formula for mourning. The goal is to get the grief you are experiencing out of your heart.
Sometimes you will feel like crying when no one expects you to cry. Even in such times, don’t hold back your tears.
The more you let out your grief, the faster you will heal. Also, expressing your emotions will help you feel you mourned your mother properly after she is buried.
When you have an opportunity to view the body of your deceased mother, go view her body. Take your time and look at her.
While mourning, you may feel you don’t want to see your mother’s dead body but it is good for you. Viewing her body will help you let out all the pain that is within you.
Once she is buried, if you took your time to view her body, you will have less urges to see her again.
Sometimes your emotions might be too much for you to handle. Make sure that in such times you have your friends close by so that they can offer you support.
It is not uncommon for someone grieving to collapse. The emotions can be too strong that you lose your breathing rhythm.
3. Stick to your Basic Activities
After receiving the news of the death of your mother, your mind is greatly disturbed. The disturbance is so bad that you forget to do many things including the very basic activities.
This is why you need to intentionally focus on doing the basic activities of life.
After losing your mother, you most likely have lost your appetite too. But eating is necessary for you to have strength to mourn.
Actually, this is the time you need to eat more because your body needs extra strength to handle the pressure caused by the death of your mother.
Every inch of your body may resent food but you must push yourself to eat.
I want you to know that you have no appetite because the part of your brain responsible for telling you need food is occupied by the shock of the death of your mother.
Therefore, whether you feel like eating or not, go ahead and eat.
Our bodies are not robots; they need rest. The pressure that you get after the death of your mother weighs heavily on your mind to the point of lacking sleep.
But you need to have sufficient hours of sleep.
This is why I recommend you find a conducive environment to sleep. If you can’t sleep at home because of the many funeral related activities, find a place away from home where you can be spending your nights.
Being away from the mourning environment will greatly help you relax and find some sleep.
Mourning can be so consuming that you forget to shower. You may not have an urge to wake up from the couch where you are sleeping but it is important for you to take a shower on a daily basis.
Taking a bath will help cool down your body which also cools down your mind. With freshness around, you will feel a bit more alive than if you don’t take a shower at all.
Sorry for the death of your mother! It is an inevitable part of life. But that should not make your life come to an end also.
By following the simple guidelines I have outlined, you will feel better. Give the mourning period the attention it deserves and you will be fine in no time.
Make sure that every activity you do during this time is aimed at helping you release all the pain within you.
Allow other people to help you through this period. They are in a better state of mind than you and so if they recommend something to you, even if you feel like not doing it, push yourself to do it.