“My Mother died and I didn’t cry”. If this is your case, it can make you question if you are normal.
When your mother dies, you will experience a variety of feelings. For most people, there is a lot of crying. However, some people never cry at all throughout the grieving process.
We are wired differently.
If you never cried after your mother died and even in her funeral, this article is for you. In this post, I want to take a look at the weird behavior of not crying after losing your mother.
Is it normal if you didn’t cry after your mother died? What are the consequences of not crying? What should I do if I didn’t cry in my mother’s funeral?
I’ll be answering these and many more questions.
My Mother Died and I didn’t Cry, is it Normal?
Before we talk about whether not crying after your mother dies is normal or not, let us talk about what we are sure is normal.
When a mother dies, it is expected that you cry. Crying during the grieving process helps you release the pressure that builds up in you after you learn of the death of your mother.
Read Also: Should I view the Body of my Deceased Mother?
Crying also indicates that you had a good relationship with your mother. When other people see you crying in your mother’s funeral, they will take it as a good gesture.
When Jesus visited the home of Lazarus after his death, He had pity on Lazarus’ sisters because they were grieving.
Crying after your mother dies is good.
For the rare occurrence where you don’t cry after your mother dies, here are a few points to note…
Why Your Mother died and you didn’t Cry: Poor Relationship with her
How you related with your mother plays a major role in determining if you will cry after her death or not. For people who didn’t have a close relationship with their mother, they may not cry at all after their mother dies.
If your mother is like a distant relative to you, it is normal not to cry. The distance in your relationship may not be your fault but it will make you not to cry in your mother’s funeral.
Crying in funerals happens if the person who has died was close to you. Crying is an intimate level of grieving that only people close to the dead person experience.
Therefore, if you had a distant relationship with your mother and you didn’t cry in her funeral, you are normal. It is expected.
Problem with your Emotions if your Mother Died and you Didn’t Cry
Some people experience mixed emotions and may react weirdly to some occurrences. When your mother dies, it is expected that you cry.
Crying is a way of expressing your emotions of sadness. But if you have a problem expressing your emotions, you may find that after your mother dies, you have no urge to cry.
Read Also: Should I Attend the Funeral of my Abusive Mother?
The lack of crying is not that you don’t feel the pain of losing your mother but rather it is that you don’t know how to express the sadness of losing your mother.
Many people experience confusion after they learn of their mother’s death. But majority of people often cry after they stabilize their emotions.
We are wired differently. We have different ways of absorbing disturbing news.
Therefore, if you didn’t cry in your mother’s funeral and you had a close relationship with her, chances are that you have a challenge expressing your emotions.
If this is the case, it is advisable to talk to a grief therapist. You need to be able to express your emotions for you to heal properly.
Apart from not having a close relationship with your mother and having a problem expressing your emotions, the other reason why you didn’t cry in your mother’s funeral is your personality.
We have various personalities and each personality has a peculiar way of grieving. Most people will shed tears when their mother dies.
A good number of people will wail loudly after they learn of their mother’s death. Others will remain silent and shed no tear.
It is normal for some people to express no outward signs of grieving after losing their mother.
In some societies, men are not expected to shed tears in public. This kind of culture may encourage men not to cry at all even after their mother dies.
Therefore, if you happen to be someone who doesn’t cry after losing a mother, know that you are normal. Provided you feel the loss in your heart and you are moved, you are fine.
If your Mother Died and you didn’t Cry, Remember this
Because of how society is wired, you are likely to feel out of place if you don’t cry in your mother’s funeral. But just because society expects you to cry after your mother’s death doesn’t mean that you have to cry.
The stigma that is imposed on you for not crying the death of your mother can wreck your life. You must be well equipped to handle it.
The following are the key points to note if you are being stigmatized for not crying during your mother’s funeral.
1. You have a Unique Personality
If you are of the personality that doesn’t cry while grieving, it is okay for you not to cry in your mother’s funeral. It doesn’t matter what society thinks of it.
You will always react according to how you are wired. Know it within you and give little thought to the opinion of society.
2. Your Internal State is of greater Importance
Your main goal is to have internal peace. If you are at peace that you didn’t cry after your mother’s death, then let no one stigmatize you.
At any given time, make sure you maintain your internal peace.
Read Also: Accepting my Mother’s Death: Coming to Terms with Reality
If you are internally disturbed that you didn’t cry after your mother’s death, it is advisable that you speak to a counseling therapist.
You should know whether the lack of internal peace is a result of regretting not crying in your mother’s funeral or it is caused by the stigma from society. A therapist will help you out.
3. There are no Grieving Laws
Grieving is a reflex action; it happens subconsciously. There is no way you can set rules of how someone is to mourn. This should console you if your mother died and you didn’t cry.
The furthest you can go is set a time limit of mourning. The style of mourning is an individual’s choice.
Therefore, do not feel guilty if you didn’t cry after your mother’s death. Neither should anyone attack you for not crying during your mother’s funeral.
Have peace and know that you were free to react to your mother’s death as you wished. The most important thing is that you heal from her death.