I am an intelligent person and I have figured out many things about life but finding purpose is not one of them. When I look back at my life, all I see are projects abandoned along the way.
It is not that I can’t create successful projects, but anytime a project I am working on is going great, I get bored with it.
It is hard to explain to people why I would give up on a project that is doing well. From my own analysis, I have discovered that once a project I am working on is doing well, I ask myself if that is what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life.
The thought of sticking to that single project for the rest of my life makes me quit. I feel I should do more in life than pursuing one project.
There was a time I wanted to become rich. I learned about investing and starting businesses. At that time, I was preoccupied by the workings of the economy.
I thought I had found a path I want to pursue. A few months later, I began asking myself what I would do after I have become rich.
I thought maybe I’ll travel the world. Then maybe buy sports cars and build myself a mansion. But I still had a nagging question; what then after that?
Since I couldn’t get a definitive answer to why I wanted to become rich, I lost the motivation to become rich.
I dropped out of college and stayed out for three years before joining again. The same thing happened when I joined college; I began asking myself why I was in college.
Every reason I gave myself for being in college was never enough to make me work hard. Slowly I withdrew from college until I eventually dropped out.
For three years I struggled to explain to my friends why I couldn’t continue with college when I had no financial problems and I was intelligent.
My simple explanation was that I was too intelligent to be in college. My friends would not buy my explanation and it frustrated me.
I have also moved churches a number of times. At first I was in Catholic when I was still a small boy. I went to Catholic because my parents were Catholics.
I became the most committed member in the whole family. My zeal for church was unquenchable.
My mom loved my passion for church. I studied catechism and was baptized.
After the baptism, I began asking myself what else was there for me to do. I craved for a new challenge that would make me passionate to overcome but there was none.
I lost interest in Catholic church. I thought maybe going to another church would give me a new challenge. I moved to a protestant church and the cycle started again.
I was excited and passionate at first but after a few years, everything seemed pointless. I moved to another church and for the first time it seemed I was never going to leave.
For four years I was comfortable but then the inevitable happened. I began questioning and everything went downhill from there.
Currently, I have not made any effort to join another church. It all feels pointless to join a church when I know I will quit after a few years.
In fact, attending church now feels boring and pointless. I prefer to stay in my room and pray and read the word of God. I find great peace doing that.
Abandoned churches, abandoned businesses, dropping out of college; the list goes on. Will I ever settle? If yes, what will I settle on?
Yes, ever since I began writing, I have never felt like giving up. I do struggle with writing about one topic consistently but there is always a desire to write.
Sometimes I embark on writing ebooks but once I am done writing an ebook, I feel I want something else.
The constant switching of the things I want to write about makes me feel purposeless.
I have deleted many articles that I have written on this blog. There was a time I was writing on Quora and I became a top writer in one of the categories. But a few months later it all became pointless and I deleted my account even though I was averaging 100k readers a day.
The period following the deletion of my account was depressing. Sometimes I would feel I should not have quit but other times I felt I did the right thing.
Either way, the problem is very clear; sticking to one project for long is a struggle.
I had embarked on answering questions on this blog but I feel purposeless. Every day I wake up with a new idea.
The more the ideas, the less I want to focus on any. I have found myself lost in a sea of ideas and abandoned pursuits.
Is it a blessing to be intelligent? I keep asking.
I see my friends stick to projects effortlessly. I don’t envy them; I wouldn’t spend my life on such kind of projects. I wonder if they ever sit down to question if that is what they want to spend the rest of their lives doing.
If they did, I know they will end up in the same cycle I am in.
I have seen articles promising to help me find my purpose in life. At first, I used to read them hoping to find purpose. But after reading a number of them, the problem I had remained unsolved.
I gave up and decided to live one day at a time.
At this point, I am not trying to find purpose in my life. I have given up and all I do is find something I can enjoy in the meantime.
I am starting to believe that I will die without ever finding purpose in my life. It used to be scary but slowly I am accepting the reality of the matter.
Nowadays, if I can help someone solve a problem, I help. But I never pressure myself to follow a certain path. I know even if I did, I won’t keep up.
If you have read through this article up to this point, I am sure you too are struggling to find purpose in life. People who know their purpose in life won’t waste their time reading an article of a person who is lost.
But let us not complain about our situation. There are advantages that we have. Let us instead see how we can capitalize on them.
I can keep writing but I feel I have deposited a big chunk of the load I wanted to offload.
All the best!
I just realized that I know the purpose of life. Not specifically the purpose of my life but the purpose of being human.
The wisest man, King Solomon, embarked on a journey to find what was best for man to do during the few days of his life under the sun.
After years of trying out many endeavors, King Solomon came up empty. But the emptiness was an answer. The whole purpose of life is to teach us humility.
No matter how hard we try to find the purpose of life, we cannot find it; God concealed it from us to test us.
If anyone humbles before God, God will allow the person to enjoy life but He will not reveal the purpose of his life.
This is why King Solomon concluded that if someone can enjoy life, he should thank God because it is a gift.
Some people have come up with the belief that the purpose of life is to be happy. While enjoying life is a blessing from God, it is only a result of humbling oneself before God.
The true purpose of life is not know to anyone. This is meant to test us. Some get angry at God for not revealing the purpose of life while others humble themselves.
Our reaction to God’s act of concealing the purpose of life will determine whether we get to enjoy life or not.
Therefore, stop searching for the purpose of your life; you will never find it. And living your life searching for your purpose will only leave you with regrets.
Instead, accept that you cannot know your purpose in life and do good whenever you can. This act of humility will prompt God to give you peace and the enjoyment of life.