The first time I heard that my mother was dead I thought it was a dream. I expected to come back to my senses and realize that nothing had happened.
Later on, I came to realize that I was experiencing denial, which is the first stage in mourning. Time passed and the reality of the matter began to sink in.
Tears began rolling down my eyes uncontrollably. Breathing became harder as I felt my chest being compressed.
I had never experienced such dramatic occurrences in my body. I later heard that my sister had collapsed and for eight hours she remained unconscious.
That day will remain in my mind for a long time. The events following the death of my mother left a mark in my memory that is hard to erase.
I am here to help you come to terms with the death of your mother. It is one thing to know that you have lost a mother but it is a totally different thing to accept that your mother is gone.
When we were kids, we would cry whenever mom would leave for work. Though it seemed mom had left us, we had the assurance that she would return in the evening.
But when your mom dies, you know she has left and she will never return.
Your Mother’s Death is a Turning Point
The death of your mother is a landmark in your life. From the day you learn of her departure, you will never be the same again.
On one hand, you are being ushered into a life of taking responsibility based on what you have been taught. On the other hand, you are being tossed into a turbulent period to test your resilience.
Your life will transform for better or for worse depending on how you handle the period of mourning the death of your mother.
Think of this period as a planting season; the harvest you get depends on the type of seed you plant.
Taking Responsibility after your Mother’s death
As painful as it may sound, you have to choose to accept the departure of your mother. Accepting the death of your mother does not come automatically.
You can live many months after the death of your mother when you are yet to release her. Holding your mother in your heart for that long will delay your healing.
There is no magic button that you will press that will instantly bring healing. You have to wake up every day and choose to move on.
It is only through personal choice that you will be able to come to terms with the death of your mother.
The work of releasing your mother is tough. It is a responsibility that requires consistent work for several months.
On some days you may get a flood of memories about your late mother and feel as if you have not made any progress but failing on one day does not mean you are not making any progress.
The process of releasing your mother takes time. It is absurd to expect to move on immediately after the death of your mother considering that you have spent many years building a bond with her.
I want you to know that accepting the death of your mother is a conscious choice that you have to make.
Turmoil after Losing your Mother
The greater the love you had for your mother, the greater the turmoil you find yourself in after her death. If you loved your mother dearly, expect a difficult time mourning her.
After your mother dies, you will have a period of utter disbelief. One part of you will know your mother is dead but somehow you will have a contradicting opinion.
Against all odds, you may find yourself believing that she will resurrect. You may even have dreams where your mom resurrects.
But all those are outcomes of your mind denying the truth.
The chaos will last for a while. Expect a turbulent time from the day you learn of the death of your mother. Your mind will try to remain in denial for as long as possible.
The reality of the death of your mother is too hard for your mind to cope with. That is why it prefers to deny the obvious.
Accepting Death is Part of Life on Earth
Apart from accepting that your mother is no more, you need to put in your mind the fact that other people that you also love will one day be no more.
Your mother has only gone ahead of the rest. Teach your mind to accommodate the fact that loved ones die too.
If your mother is the first close person you have lost, you definitely need to tune your mind to be prepared for more of the same pain.
I know it is tough to start imagining the death of other loved ones in this period when you have lost your mother but this is the best time to get the facts right.
Our lives on planet earth are temporal. It is also true that we won’t all die on the same day. Some will go before others.
Those left behind will have to deal with the pain of watching their loved ones go. As their loved ones depart, it will be a reminder to them that their day is also coming.
Once you have made peace with the fact that we are here for a season, you will have an easier time accepting the death of loved ones in future.
Finding Hope in God
Death is an enemy. God has promised to destroy death when Jesus returns. As much as death robs us of precious people, a day will come when all the fear of death will be no more.
The Lord we serve will wipe away all our tears and usher us into His eternal dwelling.
Therefore, focus on building your relationship with Jesus so that you may have a right to partake of His eternal life.
Not only for the future should you follow Christ but also for the present. After losing your mother, it is only Jesus who can show you more love than what you got from your mother.
Jesus lived on this earth; He understands what it feels like to lose a loved one. Jesus will comfort you and help you during this difficult period.
Through His mighty power, He will help you heal from the pain of losing your mother.
To accept the death of your mother is not an easy task. It takes many months of intentional working to finally get over the death of your mother.
You must put in conscious effort to get over the death of your mother. You will still have vivid memories of your mom after many months.
Accepting the death of your mother will require you to put her memories in the bin. The less time you spend thinking about your late mom, the faster you will accept her departure.
You are not alone in this journey. Take heart!